Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.
– Ambrose Bierce
A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
– Ambrose Bierce
Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
– Ambrose Bierce
Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
– Ambrose Bierce
Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.
– Ambrose Bierce
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
– Ambrose Bierce
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
– Ambrose Bierce
Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
– Ambrose Bierce
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
– Ambrose Bierce
Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
– Ambrose Bierce
Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
– Ambrose Bierce
Ardor, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
– Ambrose Bierce
Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
– Ambrose Bierce
Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
– Ambrose Bierce
Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.
– Ambrose Bierce
Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
– Ambrose Bierce
Being is desirable because it is identical with Beauty, and Beauty is loved because it is Being. We ourselves possess Beauty when we are true to our own being; ugliness is in going over to another order; knowing ourselves, we are beautiful; in self-ignorance, we are ugly.
– Ambrose Bierce
Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
– Ambrose Bierce
Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
– Ambrose Bierce
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
– Ambrose Bierce