Quotes by Bob Hope

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
– Bob Hope
I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
– Bob Hope
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
– Bob Hope
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
– Bob Hope
I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
– Bob Hope
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
– Bob Hope
I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
– Bob Hope
If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
– Bob Hope
If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
– Bob Hope
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
– Bob Hope
Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
– Bob Hope
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
– Bob Hope
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.
– Bob Hope
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
– Bob Hope
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
– Bob Hope
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
– Bob Hope
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
– Bob Hope
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
– Bob Hope
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
– Bob Hope
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
– Bob Hope