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Quotes by Chris Rock

Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council.
– Chris Rock
Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
– Chris Rock
Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.
– Chris Rock
Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.
– Chris Rock
Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.
– Chris Rock
Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
– Chris Rock
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
– Chris Rock
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
– Chris Rock
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
– Chris Rock
There are people who would like tog et rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.
– Chris Rock
Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
– Chris Rock
Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?
– Chris Rock
You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.
– Chris Rock
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.
– Chris Rock
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
– Chris Rock
Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.
– Chris Rock
My movies are okay, but they're not my specials.
– Chris Rock
Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.
– Chris Rock
Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.
– Chris Rock
Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.
– Chris Rock
I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
– Chris Rock
I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
– Chris Rock
I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school.
– Chris Rock
I think my best work is when I'm kind of in charge.
– Chris Rock
Hollywood's just not funny.
– Chris Rock
Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.
– Chris Rock
Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.
– Chris Rock
A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
– Chris Rock