Quotes by George Burns


Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.
– George Burns
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
– George Burns
At my age flowers scare me.
– George Burns
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
– George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
– George Burns
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.
– George Burns
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
– George Burns
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
– George Burns
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
– George Burns
How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.
– George Burns
How can I die? I'm booked.
– George Burns
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
– George Burns
I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.
– George Burns
I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.
– George Burns
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
– George Burns
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
– George Burns
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
– George Burns
I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
– George Burns
I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
– George Burns
I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
– George Burns