Quotes by Helen Rowland

A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.
– Helen Rowland
A fool and her money are soon courted.
– Helen Rowland
A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
– Helen Rowland
A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little personal characteristics.
– Helen Rowland
A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.
– Helen Rowland
A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.
– Helen Rowland
A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.
– Helen Rowland
A man's heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant.
– Helen Rowland
A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the spice of experience, the piquancy of novelty, the tang of practiced coquetry, and the halo of one man's approval.
– Helen Rowland
A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.
– Helen Rowland
After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.
– Helen Rowland
And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.
– Helen Rowland
Before marriage, a man will lay down his life for you; after marriage he won't even lay down his newspaper.
– Helen Rowland
Books, not which afford us a cowering enjoyment, but in which each thought is of unusual daring; such as an idle man cannot read, and a timid one would not be entertained by, which even make us dangerous to existing institution -such call I good books.
– Helen Rowland
Call the bald man, Boy; make the sage thy toy; greet the youth with solemn face; praise the fat man for his grace.
– Helen Rowland
Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place.
– Helen Rowland
Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.
– Helen Rowland
Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.
– Helen Rowland
Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.
– Helen Rowland
France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are made in America.
– Helen Rowland
Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.
– Helen Rowland
How like a winter hath my absence been. From thee, the pleasure of the fleeting year! What freezings have I felt, what dark days seen, What old December's bareness everywhere!
– Helen Rowland
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.
– Helen Rowland
It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.
– Helen Rowland
It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
– Helen Rowland
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
– Helen Rowland
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.
– Helen Rowland
Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.
– Helen Rowland
Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.
– Helen Rowland
Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anaesthetic.
– Helen Rowland
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.
– Helen Rowland
No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a Master of Arts and a Doctor of Philosophy after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.
– Helen Rowland
No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.
– Helen Rowland
Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.
– Helen Rowland
Nowadays, all the married men live like bachelors, and all the bachelors like married men.
– Helen Rowland
Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.
– Helen Rowland
Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.
– Helen Rowland
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.
– Helen Rowland
The hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.
– Helen Rowland
The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.
– Helen Rowland
There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.
– Helen Rowland
There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.
– Helen Rowland
There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them.
– Helen Rowland
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
– Helen Rowland
Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.
– Helen Rowland
What a man calls his conscience is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.
– Helen Rowland
When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
– Helen Rowland
When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her, and it's usually the last.
– Helen Rowland
When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart.
– Helen Rowland
When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they don't understand one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
– Helen Rowland
When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
– Helen Rowland
Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?
– Helen Rowland
Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.
– Helen Rowland
You will never win if you never begin.
– Helen Rowland
The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.
– Helen Rowland
Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.
– Helen Rowland
One man's folly is another man's wife.
– Helen Rowland
Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.
– Helen Rowland
Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.
– Helen Rowland
Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.
– Helen Rowland
A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
– Helen Rowland