Quotes by Jay London

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.
– Jay London
A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.
– Jay London
After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride.
– Jay London
At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?
– Jay London
Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.
– Jay London
Do you know it was a year a ago today?
– Jay London
Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?
– Jay London
How do you like my overall look?
– Jay London
I dated a partially nude model, and she did a half-assed job.
– Jay London
I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.
– Jay London
I get all my hair products at PetCo.
– Jay London
I had a very lonely New Year's this year, I had to watch my own balls drop.
– Jay London
I model irregular clothing.
– Jay London
I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.
– Jay London
I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.
– Jay London
I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.
– Jay London
I saw a stationery store move.
– Jay London
I slept with this girl, in the morning I asked her if she wanted breakfast in bed? She said one pig in the blanket was enough.
– Jay London
I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.
– Jay London
I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.
– Jay London