Quotes by Ogden Nash

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters.
– Ogden Nash
The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
– Ogden Nash
The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.
– Ogden Nash
The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
– Ogden Nash
The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat.
– Ogden Nash
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
– Ogden Nash
They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.
– Ogden Nash
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
– Ogden Nash
Too clever is dumb.
– Ogden Nash
Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him.
– Ogden Nash
I think that I shall never see
a billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
– Ogden Nash
Women would rather be right than reasonable.
– Ogden Nash
The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
– Ogden Nash
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
– Ogden Nash
Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
– Ogden Nash
If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
– Ogden Nash
I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
– Ogden Nash
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money?
– Ogden Nash
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
– Ogden Nash