A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
– Wilson Mizner
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
– Wilson Mizner
A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.
– Wilson Mizner
All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
– Wilson Mizner
Art is science made clear.
– Wilson Mizner
Be nice to people on the way up, because you'll meet them on your way down.
– Wilson Mizner
Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
– Wilson Mizner
Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
– Wilson Mizner
Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.
– Wilson Mizner
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
– Wilson Mizner
I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
– Wilson Mizner
I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
– Wilson Mizner
If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
– Wilson Mizner
If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.
– Wilson Mizner
It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.
– Wilson Mizner
Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor, unassisted.
– Wilson Mizner
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
– Wilson Mizner
The first hundred years are the hardest.
– Wilson Mizner
To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
– Wilson Mizner
You sparkle with larceny.
– Wilson Mizner
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.
– Wilson Mizner
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
– Wilson Mizner
Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
– Wilson Mizner
The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
– Wilson Mizner
The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.