Quotes by Quentin Crisp

Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically - for our mutual good. The lie is the basic building block of good manners. That may seem mildly shocking to a moralist - but then what isn't?
– Quentin Crisp
Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
– Quentin Crisp
The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
– Quentin Crisp
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
– Quentin Crisp
The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as Soho poverty. It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent.
– Quentin Crisp
The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
– Quentin Crisp
The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
– Quentin Crisp
The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
– Quentin Crisp
There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.
– Quentin Crisp
There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.
– Quentin Crisp
This school was on top of a hill so that God could see everything that went on. It looked like a cross between a prison and a church and it was.
– Quentin Crisp
This woman did not fly to extremes; she lived there.
– Quentin Crisp
Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
– Quentin Crisp
To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.
– Quentin Crisp
Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps.
– Quentin Crisp
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
– Quentin Crisp
Whenever we confront an unbridled desire we are surely in the presence of a tragedy-in-the-making.
– Quentin Crisp
You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.
– Quentin Crisp
The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy they want to be right.
– Quentin Crisp
Manners are love in a cool climate.
– Quentin Crisp