Quotes by Doug Larson

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
– Doug Larson
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!
– Doug Larson
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
– Doug Larson
Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.
– Doug Larson
For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
– Doug Larson
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
– Doug Larson
If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
– Doug Larson
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
– Doug Larson
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
– Doug Larson
Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.
– Doug Larson
Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.
– Doug Larson
Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
– Doug Larson
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
– Doug Larson
The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
– Doug Larson
The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
– Doug Larson
The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.
– Doug Larson
There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.
– Doug Larson
To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
– Doug Larson
Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none.
– Doug Larson
Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.
– Doug Larson
Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
– Doug Larson
The reason people blame things on the previous generations is that there's only one other choice.
– Doug Larson
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.
– Doug Larson
If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
– Doug Larson
What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living.
– Doug Larson
The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
– Doug Larson
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
– Doug Larson
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
– Doug Larson
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
– Doug Larson
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
– Doug Larson