Quotes by Jon Carroll

Everyone should live to be 92 years old, have an orgasm and drop dead.

I think the thing to remember, though, the next time you hear someone who is really certain that he is on the side of the angels, is that the idea of angels was created by human beings, who are famous for being frequently untrustworthy and occasional.

In general, I tend to favor teachers over school boards in conflicts. Not that teachers are always right (I refer specifically to Mr. Manley in the fifth grade at Hamilton Elementary), but school boards are often used by the politically ambitious as a step up the ladder. The politically ambitious rarely become kindergarten teachers.

When the going gets tough, the tough get empirical.