Quotes by Alan King

As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
– Alan King
Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
– Alan King
If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.
– Alan King
Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
– Alan King
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
– Alan King