Quotes by Boris Johnson

I don't see why people are so snooty about Channel 5. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap dancing, and other related and vital subjects.

I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.

I love tennis with a passion. I challenged Boris Becker to a match once and he said he was up for it but he never called back. I bet I could make him run around.

If Amsterdam or Leningrad vie for the title of Venice of the North, then Venice - what compliment is high enough? Venice, with all her civilisation and ancient beauty, Venice with her addiction to curious aquatic means of transport, yes, my friends, Venice is the Henley of the South.

My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters.

The dreadful truth is that when people come to see their MP they have run out of better ideas.

The Lib Dems are not just empty. They are a void within a vacuum surrounded by a vast inanition.

The Tory Party - the funkiest, most jiving Party on Earth!

To rely on a train in Blair's Britain is to engage in a crapshoot with the devil.

But if people want to swim in the Thames, if they want to take their lives into their own hands, then they should be able to do so with all the freedom and exhilaration of our woad-painted ancestors.