A human being: an ingenious assembly of portable plumbing.
– Christopher Morley
A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
– Christopher Morley
Act like you expect to get into the end zone.
– Christopher Morley
Beauty is ever to the lonely mind a shadow fleeting; she is never plain. She is a visitor who leaves behind the gift of grief, the souvenir of pain.
– Christopher Morley
Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting.
– Christopher Morley
Cleanliness is indeed next to godliness.
– Christopher Morley
Dancing is a wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it.
– Christopher Morley
God made man merely to hear some praise of what he'd done on those Five Days.
– Christopher Morley
Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water.
– Christopher Morley
High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.
– Christopher Morley
I had a million questions to ask God: but when I met Him, they all fled my mind; and it didn't seem to matter.
– Christopher Morley
If we discovered that we only had five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they loved them.
– Christopher Morley
In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.
– Christopher Morley
Let me look at the foulness and ugliness of my body. Let me see myself as an ulcerous sore running with every horrible and disgusting poison.
– Christopher Morley
Lots of times you have to pretend to join a parade in which you're not really interested in order to get where you're going.
– Christopher Morley
New York, the nation's thyroid gland.
– Christopher Morley
No man is lonely eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention.
– Christopher Morley
Only the sinner has the right to preach.
– Christopher Morley
People like to imagine that because all our mechanical equipment moves so much faster, that we are thinking faster, too.
– Christopher Morley
The enemies of the future are always the very nicest people.
– Christopher Morley
The misfortunes hardest to bear are these which never came.
– Christopher Morley
There are three ingredients in the good life: learning, earning and yearning.
– Christopher Morley
There is only one rule for being a good talker - learn to listen.
– Christopher Morley
We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up.
– Christopher Morley
When you sell a man a book you don't sell him just 12 ounces of paper and ink and glue-you sell him a whole new life.
– Christopher Morley
Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age.
– Christopher Morley
Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity.
– Christopher Morley
There is no mistaking a real book when one meets it. It is like falling in love.
– Christopher Morley
There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.
– Christopher Morley
The trouble with wedlock is that there's not enough wed and too much lock.
– Christopher Morley
The courage of the poet is to keep ajar the door that leads into madness.
– Christopher Morley
No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
– Christopher Morley
It is unfair to blame man too fiercely for being pugnacious he learned the habit from Nature.
– Christopher Morley
Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.
– Christopher Morley
From now until the end of time no one else will ever see life with my eyes, and I mean to make the best of my chance.
– Christopher Morley
All cities are mad: but the madness is gallant. All cities are beautiful: but the beauty is grim.