All television ever did was shrink the demand for ordinary movies. The demand for extraordinary movies increased. If any one thing is wrong with the movie industry today, it is the unrelenting effort to astonish.
– Clive James
As far as talent goes, Marilyn Monroe was so minimally gifted as to be almost unemployable, and anyone who holds to the opinion that she was a great natural comic identifies himself immediately as a dunce.
– Clive James
Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.
– Clive James
In the Bob Hope Golf Classic, the participation of President Gerald Ford was more than enough to remind you that the nuclear button was at one stage at the disposal of a man who might have either pressed it by mistake or else pressed it deliberately in order to obtain room service.
– Clive James
It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.
– Clive James
She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short.
– Clive James
The British Secret Service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB.
– Clive James
A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
– Clive James
Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology.