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Quotes by Drew Carey

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?
– Drew Carey
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
– Drew Carey
You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.
– Drew Carey
When I thought I was retired, I wanted to travel around the world and watch soccer games.
– Drew Carey
TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over.
– Drew Carey
There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.
– Drew Carey
The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.
– Drew Carey
Oh, and once, when I was in the Marines, I got a perfect score on my physical fitness test.
– Drew Carey
Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.
– Drew Carey
But sports photography isn't something you just pick up overnight. You can't do it once a year for fun and expect to do a good job. And I take pride in what I do.
– Drew Carey
Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event.
– Drew Carey
As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed.
– Drew Carey