All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with.
– Graham Norton
Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'.
– Graham Norton
Being asked to host the BAFTA awards is a huge thrill, not to mention a lot easier than sitting in the audience pretending to be pleased for the winners.
– Graham Norton
I am part man, part cyborg. You'd be surprised at the parts I've had inserted in me. Perhaps that's why I walk a little stiffly.
– Graham Norton
I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.
– Graham Norton
I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.
– Graham Norton
I have no real interest. I like meeting celebrities but then my interest wanes. Occasionally, because it's an edited show, I'll throw them a bone and let them tell a long boring story... 'mmm, fascinating'.
– Graham Norton
I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy.
– Graham Norton
In terms of language, yeah we get bleeped and blurred and things, but in terms of content, I would probably say we're getting away with more here than we could get away with in Britain. And that surprised us so much!
– Graham Norton
My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living.
– Graham Norton
My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule.
– Graham Norton
My version of falling in love is borderline psychotic. Should be avoided at all costs. Get obsessed. Can't fall in love and function at the same time. All-consuming. Tunnel vision. Euphoric.'
– Graham Norton
The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.
– Graham Norton
The people I want are very famous and very rich, and all I can offer them is a bit of exposure on TV and a bit of cash, so it's a miracle we get any guests at all. But we have been very lucky.
– Graham Norton
We supply wine to all the guests - but most of the guests don't bring the wine on. But I drink wine before the show. Everyone does.
– Graham Norton
We're still feeling the ripple of the nipple... In the end we're going to make our show and they'll beep it and blur it and you still get the joke. But for some weird reason, you just can't be seeing it.
– Graham Norton
Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.
– Graham Norton
My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me.
– Graham Norton
It's amazing how I can just ramble on for hours, isn't it? And so unentertaining or uninteresting. But I can ramble on for hours. It's a sort of terrible gift, isn't it?
– Graham Norton
I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long.
– Graham Norton
I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.
– Graham Norton
Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!'