Americans know as much about Canada as straight people do about gays. Americans arrive at the border with skis in July, and straight people think that being gay is just a phase. A very long phase.
– Scott Thompson
Don't look at the person next to you to see if it's okay to laugh! Just laugh people!
– Scott Thompson
In France, everyone speaks French 'cause they think it's cool. Gives 'em, gives 'em an excuse to smoke.
– Scott Thompson
What is love but an allergic reaction to the proper lighting!
– Scott Thompson
When you are not treated seriously, you develop comically. Its sense of oneself is so fractured and fragile that it's like the picked-on kid who has to become funny.
– Scott Thompson
When I was younger I wanted to be a big movie star who'd get to be funny on talk shows and then I wanted to retire and write science fiction.
– Scott Thompson
I'm not really cool, or dashing, or any of those things.
– Scott Thompson
I think the Canadian sense of humor is dryer than America's and juicier than Britain's. I think it's a cross between the two of them, really.
– Scott Thompson
I think Canadian humor is a little less broad than American humor.