Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
– Stephen B. Leacock
I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.
– Stephen B. Leacock
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
– Stephen B. Leacock
It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.
– Stephen B. Leacock
It may be those who do most, dream most.
– Stephen B. Leacock
It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.
– Stephen B. Leacock
Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour.
– Stephen B. Leacock
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
– Stephen B. Leacock
Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.
– Stephen B. Leacock
Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.
– Stephen B. Leacock
Synopsis of Previous Chapters: There are no Previous Chapters.
– Stephen B. Leacock
The classics are only primitive literature. They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.
– Stephen B. Leacock
The Compleat Angler is acknowledged to be one of the world's books. Only the trouble is that the world doesn't read its books, it borrows a detective story instead.
– Stephen B. Leacock
The parent who could see his boy as he really is, would shake his head and say: 'Willie is no good; I'll sell him.'
– Stephen B. Leacock
There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit.
– Stephen B. Leacock
What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn't. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day's work in his last fifty years.
– Stephen B. Leacock
I detest life-insurance agents; they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.
– Stephen B. Leacock
Newspapermen learn to call a murderer 'an alleged murderer' and the King of England 'the alleged King of England' to avoid libel suits.
– Stephen B. Leacock
Lord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.