Popular

Browse Popular Topics

Funny Quotes

I have an older sister named Haley and she wanted to be an actress. So I wanted to be an actress. It's really funny the way that some people don't give kids enough credit for like really being driven, and really wanting to do things so badly.
– Hilary Duff
More quotes by Hilary Duff
I have an inability to enjoy things, but that's why we're in comedy. If we were happy, we wouldn't be funny, I guess.
– Paul Feig
More quotes by Paul Feig
I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.
– Dylan Moran
More quotes by Dylan Moran
I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.
– Arnold Schwarzenegger
More quotes by Arnold Schwarzenegger
I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
– Wanda Sykes
More quotes by Wanda Sykes
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
– Joan Rivers
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I had to act in a school play when I was about ten years old. I really didn't want to do it. But everyone had to do it so I didn't have a choice. A talent agent came and watched it and later gave me some work. It's funny because I'd always known that I wanted a movie career. I just didn't think that I would be in the movies.
– Kristen Stewart
More quotes by Kristen Stewart
I had the classic 40 meltdown. I did. It's embarrassing. It was pretty funny. But then I recovered. To me, it was like a second adolescence. Hormonally, my body was changing, my mind was changing, and so my relationship to myself and the world around me came to this assault of finiteness.
– Keanu Reeves
More quotes by Keanu Reeves
I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking.
– Joe Rogan
More quotes by Joe Rogan
I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me.
– Ellen DeGeneres
More quotes by Ellen DeGeneres
I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am.
– Jennifer Aniston
More quotes by Jennifer Aniston
I had a very funny family.
– Zach Braff
More quotes by Zach Braff
I had a piece of Carefree sugarless gum… and I was still worried.
– Mitch Hedberg
More quotes by Mitch Hedberg
I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.
– Stephen King
More quotes by Stephen King
I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
– Eddie Izzard
More quotes by Eddie Izzard
I grew up in a funny way.
– Gordon Ramsay
More quotes by Gordon Ramsay
I got to play with Nintendo's Wii, yes it's a funny name and not very revolutionary but it was fun whipping your arms around.
– Olivia Munn
More quotes by Olivia Munn
I got the wake-up call that no one is policing our oceans. I wondered, how can I do anything? What really can I do to make things better? There are some perks to being a celebrity. My job is to be funny once in a while, but it's my responsibility to make good use of it.
– Angela Kinsey
More quotes by Angela Kinsey
I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand.
– Leonardo DiCaprio
More quotes by Leonardo DiCaprio
I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid they told me I was being funny.
– Jim Carrey
More quotes by Jim Carrey
I find it very easy playing Bond. I think he's hilarious. He gets himself into some extraordinarily funny situations.
– Daniel Craig
More quotes by Daniel Craig
I find it so funny that people find me so interesting.
– Britney Spears
More quotes by Britney Spears
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
– Frank Sinatra
More quotes by Frank Sinatra
I feel funny about owning art. I don't really want to say: 'Wow, come and see my Monet - it's in a dark room at the bottom of my cellar.'
– Baz Luhrmann
More quotes by Baz Luhrmann
I feel cheesy when I see 'Silver Spoons.' Some of it was funny, but some of it was just cheese! My kids love it, but I look at it and cringe.
– Ricky Schroder
More quotes by Ricky Schroder
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
– Mitch Hedberg
More quotes by Mitch Hedberg
I don't write literary fiction - I write books that are entertaining, but are also, I hope, well-constructed and thoughtful and funny and have things to say about men and women and families and children and life in America today.
– Jennifer Weiner
More quotes by Jennifer Weiner
I don't want to be the one to break it to you, but the future ain't that funny.
– Albert Brooks
More quotes by Albert Brooks
I don't think, 'Gee, I'd like to dress this person.' There was a picture in Us magazine. It was a jersey dress, and Courtney Love was wearing it. I have this thing about Courtney Love, this funny worship.
– Marc Jacobs
More quotes by Marc Jacobs
I don't think the public is dying to see me necessarily be funny all the time.
– Ben Stiller
More quotes by Ben Stiller
I don't think of myself as a comedian, but as an artist, a scientist and chemist who just happens to be funny. I started doing stand-up to add another level to my game. I feel that I'm a young rookie with a veteran's skill.
– Marlon Wayans
More quotes by Marlon Wayans
I don't think my judgment is that good. I don't know what is funny.
– Jerry Stiller
More quotes by Jerry Stiller
I don't think know if anything's going to translate anywhere. You're making a movie, you hope it's going to be funny, you can't think about how it's going to go over.
– Ben Stiller
More quotes by Ben Stiller
I don't think I'm funny.
– Liam Neeson
More quotes by Liam Neeson
I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one.
– Wendy Liebman
More quotes by Wendy Liebman
I don't really necessarily think I'm a funny guy, but I like the opportunity to take on something that I don't feel I'm the best at doing.
– Seann William Scott
More quotes by Seann William Scott
I don't really have a type of guy I like. It's just like nice guys, cute boys I mean, ones that are funny.
– Emma Roberts
More quotes by Emma Roberts
I don't really get shaken very much. People could heckle me, a spotlight could go out, I could forget a lyric... I'm not operating on somebody's brain, you know what I mean? So I just think it's all funny.
– Harry Connick, Jr.
More quotes by Harry Connick, Jr.
I don't mean to be funny.
– Yogi Berra
More quotes by Yogi Berra
I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'
– Louis C. K.
More quotes by Louis C. K.
I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.
– Paul Lynde
More quotes by Paul Lynde
I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny.
– Craig Ferguson
More quotes by Craig Ferguson
I don't just try to be funny.
– Bil Keane
More quotes by Bil Keane
I don't have a caustic sense of humor. What I find funny, that humor comes from a much gentler place.
– Vera Farmiga
More quotes by Vera Farmiga
I don't hate humanity and I'm not interested in people who do. Although, it's funny, actually, some of my favorite writers really do. Like Martin Amis. My dirty secret. 'London Fields' is one of my favorite books ever. And it's indefensible! But he's so funny... I forgive him everything.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
More quotes by Elizabeth Gilbert
I don't happen to have a sense of humor personally, so I don't know what's funny about a character... This happens to be a feature of my life generally.
– Wallace Shawn
More quotes by Wallace Shawn
I don't dismiss the music that I was involved with, I don't think it was a joke, I don't think it was funny or a phase, I don't think it was just something I was doing back then, to me it was who I am. It connects all the way through. I don't distance myself from any of it.
– Ian MacKaye
More quotes by Ian MacKaye
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
– Jack Benny
More quotes by Jack Benny
I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.
– Paula Deen
More quotes by Paula Deen
I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.
– Jackie Mason
More quotes by Jackie Mason
I do find comedy difficult. I don't know why. Maybe I think about it too much. There's a tremendous amount of pressure to be funny.
– Michelle Pfeiffer
More quotes by Michelle Pfeiffer
I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.
– Jimmy Carr
More quotes by Jimmy Carr
I could party in a cardboard box with people who are funny and don't care. For me, it's really about who I surround myself with, so I just try to always be with hilarious people.
– Kesha
More quotes by Kesha
I come more to Scotland than I ever used to, so I feel more connected to it, more part of the zeitgeist. You know when you realize you have a choice and I'm choosing my homeland. It's funny: when you get older these things creep up to you.
– Alan Cumming
More quotes by Alan Cumming
I can't watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That's my job.
– Jenny Eclair
More quotes by Jenny Eclair
I can't not find humor in elements of most parts of life, but at the same time nothing ever seems perpetually funny to me.
– Greg Kinnear
More quotes by Greg Kinnear
I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out.
– Margaret Cho
More quotes by Margaret Cho
I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
– Dane Cook
More quotes by Dane Cook
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
– Steven Wright
More quotes by Steven Wright
I believe, in a funny way, the job of the novelist is to be out there on the fringes and speaking for an experience that has not really been spoken for.
– Donna Tartt
More quotes by Donna Tartt
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
– Ron White
More quotes by Ron White
I auditioned for a solo in church and got it. I was about seven and I sang a song called, 'Jesus, I Heard You Had a Big House' and I remember people standing up at the end and me thinking, 'Oh, I think I'm going to like this.' That's how it all began. Sounds funny to say you got your start in church, but I did.
– Kristin Chenoweth
More quotes by Kristin Chenoweth
I appreciate humor so much, but I'm actually not a funny girl.
– Emmanuelle Chriqui
More quotes by Emmanuelle Chriqui
I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.
– Frank Carson
More quotes by Frank Carson
I always like to watch comics and it's interesting that you can tell if someone's funny in 10 seconds.
– Christopher Walken
More quotes by Christopher Walken
I always just wanted to be funny. I never really planned to be scary.
– R. L. Stine
More quotes by R. L. Stine
I always find it kind of embarrassing, kind of funny, and kind of exciting. In New York I'm recognized a lot, although nobody says anything. You know, they stare at you just a second too long. But in Paris it's not as commonplace to be recognized.
– Marc Jacobs
More quotes by Marc Jacobs
I always approach comedy roles pretending they aren't funny.
– Brendan Fraser
More quotes by Brendan Fraser
I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.
– Calvin Trillin
More quotes by Calvin Trillin
I actually find novels that are determined to be funny at every turn quite oppressive.
– Ian Mcewan
More quotes by Ian Mcewan
I actually feel like, for a lot of my career, I wasn't able to show my comedic range. I did a lot of dramas and dramedies. I was on 'E.R.' That's not generally thought of as a funny show.
– Busy Philipps
More quotes by Busy Philipps
Hurried and worried until we're buried, and there's no curtain call, Lifes a very funny proposition after all.
– George M. Cohan
More quotes by George M. Cohan
Hollywood's just not funny.
– Chris Rock
More quotes by Chris Rock
Hitchcock had a charm about him. He was very funny at times. He was incredibly brilliant in his field of suspense.
– Tippi Hedren
More quotes by Tippi Hedren
Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film 'Funny Girl' at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.
– Beth Ditto
More quotes by Beth Ditto
Hemingway seems to be in a funny position. People nowadays can't identify with him closely as a member of their own generation, and he isn't yet historical.
– Leslie Fiedler
More quotes by Leslie Fiedler
He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.
– Colin Quinn
More quotes by Colin Quinn
Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.
– Marilyn vos Savant
More quotes by Marilyn vos Savant
Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed.
– Neil Gaiman
More quotes by Neil Gaiman
Gotta stay in the gym, stay funny, stay sharp. I just love working.
– Marlon Wayans
More quotes by Marlon Wayans
God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.
– Naguib Mahfouz
More quotes by Naguib Mahfouz
Funny, how moms can tell you what to do no matter how old or big you are.
– Gabrielle Reece
More quotes by Gabrielle Reece
Funny, I don't feel any more powerful today than yesterday.
– Jerry B. Jenkins
More quotes by Jerry B. Jenkins
Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.
– Chris Rock
More quotes by Chris Rock
Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons.
– Michael Caine
More quotes by Michael Caine
Funny things tend not to happen to me. I am not a natural comic. I need to think about things a lot before I can be even remotely amusing.
– Rowan Atkinson
More quotes by Rowan Atkinson
Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone.
– Flip Wilson
More quotes by Flip Wilson
Funny is funny is funny.
– Bob Newhart
More quotes by Bob Newhart
Funny enough, if you are looking at people these days who are putting Botox in their face and getting all sorts of plastic surgery, we look at them and go, I can tell you've had Botox. I can tell you've had plastic surgery. You look really strange to me. But no one's saying anything. We're just accepting the fact that they're strange-looking.
– Guy Pearce
More quotes by Guy Pearce
For years, it's driven me crazy that women don't have better roles, especially in comedies. I know so many funny women but I always felt... misogynist streak is too strong a term - but a dismissiveness.
– Paul Feig
More quotes by Paul Feig
For years I used to bore my wife over lunch with stories about funny incidents.
– James Herriot
More quotes by James Herriot
For some reason, people find me funny. It's quite hard to define why a thought is funny. It's even harder to define why a person would be funny. It's a word that I can't define at all. But whether I know quite what it is or not, I seem to be it.
– Wallace Shawn
More quotes by Wallace Shawn
For some reason and I don't know why, but I don't think that I'm funny in California. So I always want to do my movies east somewhere.
– Kevin James
More quotes by Kevin James
For a Catholic kid in parochial school, the only way to survive the beatings - by classmates, not the nuns - was to be the funny guy.
– George A. Romero
More quotes by George A. Romero
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
– Mitch Hedberg
More quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Everything seems fine until you're about 40. Then something is definitely beginning to go wrong. And you look in the mirror with your old habit of thinking, 'While I accept that everyone grows old and dies, it's a funny thing, but I'm an exception to that rule.'
– Martin Amis
More quotes by Martin Amis
Everyone comes up to me saying, 'Cooee, Julie! Hello!' as if I know them. Of course I don't bloody know them. Am I flummoxed by it? Sometimes. I think, 'Ooh, love, go easy.' For a time, I did feel this pressure that I had to be funny, but it passes.
– Julie Walters
More quotes by Julie Walters
Everybody's funny if you love them.
– Anna Torv
More quotes by Anna Torv
Everybody's funny in different ways.
– Colin Quinn
More quotes by Colin Quinn
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
– Mitch Hedberg
More quotes by Mitch Hedberg